


Introspection Into the Weak

by zsaszspaz



Category: Lupin III
Genre: F/M, M/M, also jigen’s not an idiot persay, but he’s definitely never tangoed with anything like love so he’s bitching, jigen’s a big baby and pining for lupin’s stupid ass, this is just the sum of me wanting to vent my perspective on jigen’s view of lupin, we love to see it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsaszspaz/pseuds/zsaszspaz
Summary: Jigen didn’t see the appeal. She was a gold-digging bitch who probably couldn’t give a rat’s ass whether Lupin lived or died. But, hell, if that’s what Lupin was into.It’s not like Jigen could judge. Whatever Jigen was into, it sure as hell couldn’t be good.
Relationships: Arsène Lupin III/Fujiko Mine, Jigen Daisuke/Arsène Lupin III
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	Introspection Into the Weak

**Author's Note:**

> big shout out to my friend echo for coming up with most of the plot even though they’ve never watched lupin iii mwah ily

It was too still outside. The air was stagnant, and the sun seemed to be suspended in the sky, and it was stuck there permanently. The smoke from his cigarette was furling straight up into the sky, unperturbed by wind as it dissipated into the oranges and pinks of the sunset.

It didn’t match Jigen’s mood and that was unnerving.

His teeth clenched the cigarette he had clamped between and he leaned on the balcony railing. The wood held his weight with a small creak. That wasn’t a sound he wanted to hear when he was suspended an easy hundred feet over the ocean on a cliffside. Perhaps this would be Jigen’s taste in roulette. If the wood snapped, and he plummeted into the murky water crashing at the bottom of the rocky basin, that was simply toying with fate.

Jigen grumbled to himself and stood up. The wood made another one of those unsettling creaks as it adjusted. Jigen grasped the cigarette between his fingers and sighed, the smoke curling up from his lips. His other hand tucked into his back pocket and his cig went back to its post in his mouth.

It was stupid, really. He was, as much as he hated to admit it, pouting. Lupin had left him in the dust to go on a date with Fujiko, even though they had planned on kicking back that night and watching some old movies. Not that those were important plans that affected them in any way. It would just be a waste of time. Nevertheless, Jigen felt  _ betrayed _ . Like Lupin had spit on his mother’s grave. They were both grown men; if Lupin wanted to chase after some bitch who’d only break his damn heart over and over, Jigen had no real reason to stop him. Jigen could toggle the tv on his own and could turn on a movie he'd actually enjoy without having to tussle with Lupin and have to compromise-well, give up-to watch something he’d end up snoring to. Yet it still stung. The little weasel picked Fujiko over him. Not that Jigen didn’t know where Lupin already stood on the matter. 

It made  _ zero _ sense why it even mattered to Jigen. It’s not like Lupin was his little boyfriend. The moment Lupin saw Fujiko, it was clear that she was all Lupin could think about. He would come sweeping back from being with her, and Jigen wasn’t blind, he saw Lupin’s heart eyes.

Jigen didn’t see the appeal. She was a gold-digging bitch who probably couldn’t give a rat’s ass whether Lupin lived or died. But, hell, if that’s what Lupin was into. 

It’s not like Jigen could judge. Whatever Jigen was into, it sure as hell couldn’t be good.

Jigen desperately wished he could have some sense of normality in his attraction. He wished he could be like Lupin. For him, it was easy, he saw a woman, he lusted after her, and he either got her or he lost her. It was black and white. Occasionally, Lupin would offhandedly speak about his casual encounters with men, but for the most part, Lupin hooked up with women. Jigen  _ wanted _ that. Deep in his chest, in his bones, his soul, he ached to be able to behave. Yet, late into the night hours, when his thoughts travelled into darker territory, and there was no buffer, Jigen would begin to think of things he had forbidden himself to think about.

Things like Lupin.

Nothing specific. Just in general, his wandering mind got stuck on him. He imagined Lupin’s mischievous grin and sharp eyes. One night, in particular though, Jigen seemed to always come back to.

It had been late, creeping up towards 3 am. They had been watching a shitty romcom that looked like it had a budget of $100 and they spent half of that on buying food for the actors. The script could have easily been written by a child. Somehow, though, Lupin found it hilarious. He was cackling like a hyena as he pressed up against Jigen’s chest at the stupid puns it spewed. Jigen would huff every other minute and Lupin eventually pushed up, looking Jigen eye to eye as he earnestly asked if he wanted to change the channel. Jigen had completely prepared to quip back with an  _ “obviously” _ but the wind had been knocked out of his lungs at Lupin having his face hardly an inch away from his own and the rest of his body draped over his own. Lupin smelled like candy and cigarettes and beer and his breath was panning over Jigen’s face. Jigen could hardly get anything out except for a mumbled “s’fine” and a small head shake. He had thanked his lucky stars he had tucked his face into his hat and bangs, because judging how overwhelmingly hot it had gotten under there, he knew he ought to have gotten five shades redder. Lupin’s face curled up into an impish smile he adorned so well and slumped back into Jigen’s chest.

That smile. It was like a broken record in his head, playing the way he grinned at Jigen over and over. He was beginning to go mad from fantasising it so often. He couldn’t find the word to describe the chord it plucked deep within him. It dangerously toed into a territory Jigen was unfamiliar with, but he refused to acknowledge it, much less give it the honour of a name.

“Tch,” he spat to himself, it was packed with venom. However, even Jigen could hear the weary heartbreak that reverberated through it.

He felt pathetic.

Jigen lifted both his hands and scrubbed the butt of his palms into his eyes. He remembered the way Lupin described Fujiko to him when he asked him  _ why _ . Jigen was begging for a reason, and he was unreasonably desperate. Lupin either didn't notice or didn't care.

“Why? Well, that’s an easy one. She’s beautiful.”

“That’s all it takes, huh? To win the greatest thief’s heart? God, you’re vain.”

Lupin gave him a cheeky smile and patted his cheek. Jigen knew he turned some ungodly shade of red, but he played it off as just getting flustered at the way Lupin treated him like he was a child. “She could never have the loyalty of my gunman, but she has a nice rack.”

Gross.

Jigen reflected on that. Lupin claimed to be in love with Fujiko, but it sounded like it was simply a sexual infatuation. The way he said it was as though himself and Fujiko were on some level comparable and that he was winning, despite his lack of jugs. 

The idea was childish and lame, and Jigen knew it. Under no circumstance was Jigen in Lupin’s league, and he was certainly not someone Lupin would desire as anything more than a partner.

Jigen ashed his cigarette, watching the ash drift. Smartly, he thought to himself he was much like the ash floating down gently. Hopelessly falling. Lupin was out of his reach, and he was wildly grasping for purchase he would never find. So instead, he fell. Plummeted until he inevitably hit the ground and broke everything in him. 

He wondered, when he was broken, would Lupin pick up the pieces? Every other time Jigen had been hurt, Lupin took care of it. His hands gently held him and he spoke softly as Jigen healed. He'd make a smart ass comment every once in a while that made Jigen want to sock him, but it was always in good nature. If it hurt, Lupin would do anything he could to quell the pain. He would snicker and mumble nonsense to distract Jigen and make him smile. And, damn him, it  _ worked _ . Jigen would be trying to remain brooding and Lupin would say something so outlandish that Jigen would be forced to crack up.

When it's Lupin who shatters him, will he still pay mind to the shards?

Perhaps a better question is will Lupin genuinely let him break right in front of him? Jigen didn't forget Lupin’s lingering fingers and stares that overstayed their welcome.

Jigen shook his head with a growl. He was being ridiculous. He was indulging himself too much. Lupin, even assuming he had an interest in Jigen that was anything past platonic, Jigen doubted it breached a sexual curiosity. Jigen loathed the words he thought next, but he genuinely felt more than just “would he be a good fuck?”

Jigen had never quite experienced anything like it before but based on what others have said, he's convinced that whatever it was, it was something akin to romantic attraction. Perhaps more, but he wouldn't dare to let himself think like that. Lupin tugged on something Jigen didn't know could be tugged within him.

His mind wanders as more ash falls freely until finally, he can't nurse the cigarette any more. He drops it to the ground and snubs it out with the toe of his shoe. He stares at the dark ash of the cigarette’s corpse and ponders.

He thought about the times that Lupin has gotten too close, and invaded whatever barrier Jigen had set up for himself. Emotionally and physically. When Lupin gets close to him and he can feel his chest rise and fall, when he puts his lips too close to Jigen’s ear, the way he pulls him in for a hug and wholly wraps himself around Jigen…Jigen thinks about every time Lupin has said something that has stuck with him through the years, like a stubborn scar.

Suddenly, he was startled by a warm palm firmly pressed into his shoulder. He turned quickly; his fingers instinctively darted to his gun.

It’s only Lupin.

“Isn’t a little early for you to be back?” Jigen grunted. He wasn’t really looking at Lupin, instead, he was looking past him. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Lupin’s expression get moody.

“She ditched me,” he grumbled.

“Keep tellin’ you she’s a bitch.”

Lupin shrugged. “It is what it is,” he replied, his face lighting back up.

Jigen doesn't respond and simply continues to eye the water below. Lupin seems unbothered by the silence, except for perhaps being a little bored. It becomes too drawn out until finally, Lupin gives a hearty sigh.

“Something wrong, princess?”

Lupin gives him a nasty look for the nickname but doesn't reply until a solid thirty seconds pass.

“Spare a cigarette?”

Propensity kicked in, and Jigen went to his coat pocket to nab him one without hesitation. When he hands it over to him, Lupin takes it in his teeth and Jigen hates him for that because he could feel Lupin’s lips touch his fingers and his gentle breath.

Jigen finds his match and fumbles with it for a moment before striking it and lighting it for him.

Lupin gives him an affection look when he pulls away. Jigen snuffs out the flame as Lupin begins to speak.

“I can always count on you.”


End file.
